Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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