I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
