we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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