Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
