I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
