She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
