Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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