I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
