how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
