I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
