possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
