This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
