Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
