Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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