dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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