it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
