I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
