just come out here and I will go home with you...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I am one with the molecules
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
