I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
