Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
