our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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