He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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