Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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