My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
