READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
