We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
