Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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