that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
