Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
