I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
