Me too!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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