Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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