plz talk dirty to me
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
my liver is dry heaving
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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