Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
