Someone shit on the floor
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
