we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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