Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
