Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
