don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
i want to swaddle you in tequila
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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