nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
