Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
