ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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