Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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