If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
