cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
