so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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