This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
