it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
