And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
