I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
