It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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