please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
