Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
